Last Thursday was the last day of our summer program, and it reminded me that growth shows up differently for every child. After seven weeks of games, conversations, compromises, frustrations, do-overs, problem-solving, and plenty of opportunities to practice social skills in real time, there was a lot to look back on.
Growth Doesn’t Always Look the Same
Some kids grew in ways that were easy to see.
Some made small changes that probably wouldn’t look like much to someone who hadn’t been watching closely.
Some seemed to spend weeks listening, watching, and taking things in before we saw much change at all.
And then there were the kids who apparently decided that the last 30 minutes of the entire summer program would be an excellent time to demonstrate the thing we’d been working on all summer.
Sigh.
But also… there it was.
Sometimes Growth Shows Up Later Than We Expect
I think adults sometimes expect growth to follow a reasonable timeline. We teach something. We practice it. We remind. We coach. And naturally, we’d like to see evidence that it’s working.
Kids don’t always follow along with that schedule.
A child may hear the same coaching message ten times without appearing to use it — and then, on the eleventh opportunity, something clicks.
Another child may understand exactly what we’re teaching but not be ready to try it yet.
And sometimes a child essentially tells us, through words or actions, “Um… not for me.”
That’s part of growth, too.
Our Job Is to Keep Creating Opportunities
Our job isn’t to force every lesson to take root on our timetable. It’s to keep creating opportunities to practice, notice, try again, and experience what happens when children make a different choice.
That can be difficult when we’ve been working on the same skill for what feels like forever.
But learning and demonstrating aren’t always happening at the same time. A child can be listening, noticing, thinking, and storing away information long before we’re able to see them put it into practice.
Because sometimes the lesson we think isn’t getting through is still being stored away.
And sometimes, just when we’re ready to pack everything up for the summer…
there it is.
A Social Coaching Tip for Parents and Educators
When you’ve been working on a skill and aren’t seeing much progress, try not to measure learning only by how quickly a child demonstrates it.
Keep the language clear and simple. Keep the opportunities coming. And notice the small moments.
When growth shows up, it may not look dramatic. It might be one different choice, one interaction handled a little better, or one moment when a child finally uses something you’ve been talking about for weeks.
Those moments count.
Even when they happen in the last 30 minutes.
Looking for More Support?
If you’re seeing this pattern and want support, this is exactly the kind of real-time coaching we focus on in our social groups at the Peter Pan Center in Boxborough MA.
I also create printable tools, books, and workbooks designed to help kids practice these skills in everyday interactions.
Want more practical social coaching ideas?
I share a new Social Coaching Scoop each week with real-life coaching observations, simple strategies, resources, and ideas you can use with the kids in your life.
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