Many years ago — long before I truly understood sensory needs, predictability, or how deeply small comforts can matter to a child — we had what has gone down in family history as The Thanksgiving Ketchup Debacle.

We were at Nana’s house. The table was full. The food was hot. The relatives were gathered.

And my older son… needed ketchup for his meal.

Not preferred. Not wanted.

Needed.

But Nana didn’t have any. I shrugged it off. “It’s fine,” I said. “It’s just ketchup.” Except—of course—it wasn’t “just ketchup” to him.

The meal was derailed, the day was hard, and do you know what? He still brings it up from time to time. Not in a blaming way, but in that “Hey Mom, remember when no one listened to what I actually needed?” kind of way. And honestly… he wasn’t wrong.

Looking back, it would have taken me five minutes to pop over to a neighbor’s house, run to a convenience store, or (imagine this!) simply toss a bottle into my bag before we left the house.

I didn’t know then what I know now:

🟡 Kids don’t always have the words to explain why something matters.

🟡 Predictability and comfort items aren’t “extras”—they’re anchors.

🟡 And when we minimize something that feels big to them, they feel minimized too.

But now?

If I could rewind that Thanksgiving, you better believe I’d show up with the ketchup. And maybe a backup bottle, just in case.

🧭 Coaching Tip:

As we head into the holidays, take a moment to check in with your child about the little things that help them feel okay in unfamiliar settings:

• “Is there anything special you want to bring for the meal?”

• “What would make the day feel easier for you?”

• “Are there foods/sensory items/comforts we should pack just in case?”

What feels tiny to us might be the one thing that keeps their day on track.

And if you forget something?

Well… learn from me and ask a neighbor. They probably have ketchup.

Some of my best social coaching phrases arrive right in the moment — unscripted, but spot-on. This past week, I found myself saying something I hadn’t quite put into words before… and it clicked.

A few boys were playing with trains on the floor when one of them began screeching — loud and repetitive. One of our junior coaches covered his ears and exclaimed, “My ears!”

But the screeching didn’t stop.

That’s when the words popped out of my mouth: “When Andrew says ‘My ears,’ those are social code words for ‘Please stop screeching’ or ‘Lower your voice.’”

It worked like a charm. The screeching stopped, and play continued.

And I realized something: this idea of “social code words” is a powerful concept to coach. Kids often miss indirect cues unless we help them translate what those cues really mean.

🧭 Coaching Tip: Social shorthand can be confusing for kids. Phrases like “My ears!” or “That’s annoying!” aren’t always interpreted as requests for change. Teaching kids to recognize the code behind the comment builds their ability to respond empathetically and appropriately in the moment.

At the Peter Pan Center, social coaching doesn’t always look like a lesson—it looks like this.

A simple game of Uno Attack at the picnic table becomes a chance to:

🧠 Practice turn-taking
🗣 Learn how to win and lose with grace
🤝 Build confidence in peer interactions

Our coaches are right there in the moment—modeling, guiding, and supporting every step of the way.

✨ It’s not just about the game. It’s about the growth.

📍 Based in Boxborough, MA | Now enrolling for summer social coaching groups!

#PeterPanCenter #BoxboroughMA #SocialSkillsSupport #ExecutiveFunctioningCoaching #PlayWithPurpose #SummerSocialGroups #SELThroughGames #NeurodiversityAffirming

This week at the Peter Pan Center, two of our kids were locked in an epic paper sword battle.

But what was really happening?

🗣 They were negotiating rules.
🧠 Practicing self-regulation.
🤝 Learning how to win—and lose—gracefully.

At first glance, it looked like just play. But it was social growth in motion.

At the Peter Pan Center, we coach in the moment—during real situations that help skills stick.
Whether it’s sword fights, swing sets, or sharing snack time, we meet kids where they are and guide them forward, gently and playfully.

💚 Want to learn more about our programs?

📍 Based in Boxborough, MA | Serving families across Middlesex County

Play is powerful.

A game of tag? A turn with the swing? These moments might look like “just play,” but they’re actually full of social learning opportunities.

This week in the Social Coaching Scoop, I’m sharing how we use everyday play to build big skills—like flexibility, cooperation, and confidence—and how you can support those moments at home or school, too.

Check it out here: https://conta.cc/4na8lA9

#SocialSkillsForKids#PlayBasedLearning#ParentingHelp#PeterPanCenter#BoxboroughMA#EmotionalGrowth#SummerSocialSkills#CoachingKids

Kids often use humor to connect—but when a joke crosses the line, “just kidding” isn’t always enough. This week’s Social Coaching Scoop offers practical ways to coach kids through the boundaries of humor and the impact of teasing. Also in this issue: ✅ Summer enrollment updates ✅ A resource spotlight for teens ✅ Academic tutoring availability 📬 Take a look at what we’re working on: https://conta.cc/408h6Au #SocialEmotionalLearning #BehaviorSupport #ChildDevelopment #ParentEducation #SchoolSupport #ProfessionalDevelopment #SocialCoaching

Joining group play can feel tricky for lots of kids — but it’s a skill they can absolutely learn. This week’s Social Coaching Scoop shares simple, confidence-building ways to help kids join in successfully — plus two brand-new digital resources to support this skill! Read this week’s Scoop: https://conta.cc/3Zn1Tvm If your child has ever said “I wanted to play, but didn’t know how…” this week’s issue is for you. #SocialSkillsForKids #FriendshipSkills #SocialCoaching #ParentingSupport #SummerPrograms #PeterPanCenter #ConfidenceBuilding #SEL #JoiningIn #SocialEmotionalLearning

“I Don’t Care!” Ever heard that one? Chances are, your child does care—but just doesn’t know how to show it. This week’s Social Coaching Scoop is all about helping kids express their feelings without shutting down. You’ll also find: Details on our K–5 Summer Social Program A must-read book for common friendship challenges A full list of our upcoming workshops Tips for parents navigating tricky behaviors this summer Check it out here: https://conta.cc/3FFhqjl #ParentingHelp #SocialSkillsForKids #PeterPanCenter #SummerSocialGroup #FriendshipSkills #BoxboroughMA #EmotionalGrowth

🧠 “That’s Not Fair!” – This Week’s Social Coaching Scoop In this week’s newsletter, we’re tackling one of the most common kid complaints: “That’s not fair!” Learn how to turn these tough moments into teachable ones that build emotional resilience and social flexibility. Plus: ✅ Summer social skills groups in Boxborough, MA 📚 Friendship-building book series 🧾 Parent consults & school support 💻 Fall workshop bookings now open 📬 Read it here: https://conta.cc/3Z2RjcD Serving families across Boxborough, Acton, and surrounding communities. #SocialSkills #EmotionalRegulation #DonnaShea #PeterPanCenter #ParentSupport #BoxboroughMA #SummerPrograms #CoachingKids #SocialEmotionalLearning #MiddlesexCountyMA

Have you ever heard a child say something brutally honest—like, “That’s a weird shirt” or “This is boring”—and wanted to disappear into the floor?

They weren’t being mean on purpose. They were simply missing a key social skill: using a filter.

In my social groups, we talk a lot about social filters—the tool kids need to pause and ask themselves: “Should I say this out loud… or just keep it in my head?”

🎯 Why It Matters:

Social filters help protect friendships. They give kids the power to think before they speak, consider the feelings of others, and avoid misunderstandings that can push peers away.

🧠 How to Teach It:

• Try the “Think It or Say It?” game. Give examples and ask your child to decide whether it’s something to say out loud or keep private.
• Talk about tone and timing. Even helpful feedback (“You have something on your face”) needs the right delivery.
• Model it! Share your own moments of “thinking it” but not saying it: “I was annoyed at the store today, but I kept that thought to myself.”

💬 What to Say to Your Child:

• “Just because a thought pops into your brain doesn’t mean it needs to pop out of your mouth.”
• “It’s okay to think something—but if it might hurt someone’s feelings, it’s probably better to keep it private.”

🌱 The Long-Term Payoff:

Kids who learn how to use social filters grow into adults who are more emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and capable of forming lasting relationships. And that starts with a little coaching, a little practice, and a whole lot of patience.