Auntie Ying is not hard of hearing. She is hard of listening is a quote that jumped out as I was recently reading The Joy Luck Club. This is so true in many different circumstances, but I am thinking about it today in terms of how and why kids can be hard of listening.

I hear from parents and teachers that kids are ignoring what they are being told. If a child has ADHD, there is a good likelihood that rather than purposely ignoring us, they are so caught up in all the activity going on in their brain, that our voice is just one of the many items that are trying to capture their attention. In order to help an ADHD child listen, you first must capture their brain.

I do this by actually asking them for their brain, by saying, “I need your brain to focus on my words” or, “I need my words to be the most important thing in your brain right now.” Usually, this will get their eyes on me and ears better tuned in to listen. Certainly, all kids are capable of ignoring us, especially when we are asking them to do something they don’t want to do, but we shouldn’t jump to that conclusion, especially with kids who have attention difficulties.

It is also more beneficial to go TO the child to communicate something than to talk to them from across the room, from a different room, or at the bottom of the stairs.

And, it can also help to ensure a child has processed what you have told them by asking them to repeat it back to you.

Speaking of processing, there is something that can be a factor and be overlooked as we don’t hear much about it. Central Auditory Processing Disorder.

From ADDitude magazine: Central Auditory Processing Disorder is a learning disability that impacts the brain’s ability to filter and interpret sounds. Children with CAPD have a hard time receiving, organizing, and using auditory information. They’re able to hear but fall short at listening. (Click here for the entire article.)

It could very well be that kids are hearing us, but struggling with being able to listen to us for different reasons. Before we assume that we are being ignored, let’s make sure that kids are able to hear us, or figure out why they can’t.