Archives for May 2025

🧠 “That’s Not Fair!” – This Week’s Social Coaching Scoop In this week’s newsletter, we’re tackling one of the most common kid complaints: “That’s not fair!” Learn how to turn these tough moments into teachable ones that build emotional resilience and social flexibility. Plus: ✅ Summer social skills groups in Boxborough, MA 📚 Friendship-building book series 🧾 Parent consults & school support 💻 Fall workshop bookings now open 📬 Read it here: https://conta.cc/3Z2RjcD Serving families across Boxborough, Acton, and surrounding communities. #SocialSkills #EmotionalRegulation #DonnaShea #PeterPanCenter #ParentSupport #BoxboroughMA #SummerPrograms #CoachingKids #SocialEmotionalLearning #MiddlesexCountyMA

Have you ever heard a child say something brutally honest—like, “That’s a weird shirt” or “This is boring”—and wanted to disappear into the floor?

They weren’t being mean on purpose. They were simply missing a key social skill: using a filter.

In my social groups, we talk a lot about social filters—the tool kids need to pause and ask themselves: “Should I say this out loud… or just keep it in my head?”

🎯 Why It Matters:

Social filters help protect friendships. They give kids the power to think before they speak, consider the feelings of others, and avoid misunderstandings that can push peers away.

🧠 How to Teach It:

• Try the “Think It or Say It?” game. Give examples and ask your child to decide whether it’s something to say out loud or keep private.
• Talk about tone and timing. Even helpful feedback (“You have something on your face”) needs the right delivery.
• Model it! Share your own moments of “thinking it” but not saying it: “I was annoyed at the store today, but I kept that thought to myself.”

💬 What to Say to Your Child:

• “Just because a thought pops into your brain doesn’t mean it needs to pop out of your mouth.”
• “It’s okay to think something—but if it might hurt someone’s feelings, it’s probably better to keep it private.”

🌱 The Long-Term Payoff:

Kids who learn how to use social filters grow into adults who are more emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and capable of forming lasting relationships. And that starts with a little coaching, a little practice, and a whole lot of patience.